i’ve fallen into routines here. working twelve hour days as if it was normal, dreaming about bills and payments and credit, mindlessly driving the same car through the same routes to and from the same places (my gas station, my apartment, my grocery store, my job), setting alarms to morning sex. i feel so horribly grown up and distant. our friends here are all couples, all in the same boat, just as cold and miserable. when did i become this girl? i suppose it’s hard to notice changes like that when i spend more time at work than sleeping.