i’m so afraid of losing everything that i don’t even try to stop it anymore. how ridiculous is it to think that it will go away if i ignore it? every day that i’m here is one more day i’m not there and i hate that my life is defined by two states (literally). maybe it’s the bipolarity talking, but sometimes it feels like i’m living two lives. you know, with an optional v. i’m pretending to be someone here, and i haven’t figured out who she is yet, or if i even like her.